Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Don't call my name...

Song of the post:
Alejandro by Lady Gaga

Boys. That is tonight's topic. I know what you are thinking, now Diva, now? You just started your blog, shouldn't you tell your intense life story first. Well yes, maybe I should. But right now that is just what is on my mind. So where to begin.

First off let me start by saying that the statement, "can't live with them or without them is completely true." Let's think about this. What we strive for is finding true love because it has been grounded into us since we were old enough to see a Disney Princess movie. We are supposed to want to fall in love with a prince, but I would like to state that if we are supposed to fall in love, why is it so freaking hard! Why are they so difficult and impossible to read? Why must us girls look into every word, every gesture, every flip of their gelled hair? Because. Hence the fact that although they annoy the heck out of us and we pull our hair out trying to figure them out. We crave to have their attention and love at the end of the day. For some this process isn't so terrible, some are very good at using these aspects to their advantages. Me, not so much. Neither is my friend....Camille, which is what we will call her. It is totally ok though because we are both smart, beautiful, independent women who have good heads on our shoulders. You would think that girls like us would have figured out the system and have come out on top. Right? I suppose that thats just how life is. We are meant to figure out what we don't understand and we always want what we can't have. I mean without this notion we wouldn't have scientists or anything like that. People who ask why and how.

My main want, nay need, is that why can't boys come out and say what they are feeling instead of hiding it in cryptic words, that nobody can understand. Even someone as smart as my mom who has been married for 25 years. Geez. That is all I ask. Too often people try to beat around the bush with their feelings and I believe that life would be so much easier if people said, "Hey this is how I feel about it and I am not trying to mean I just think you should know" or "Hey, You're cute and we are friends, let's date". Sadly I know that life is not that easy, but a little bit more bluntness would not kill anybody.

So that being said there has been another thing that has been on my mind for the past month. Marriage. Big topic when you are a senior in college and the rings start coming out. In the past month I have been in two weddings. One for my best friend who I went to school with and my cousin who I grew up with. Both of these girls are my age. 21. I had the opportunity to be in the wedding party for both weddings and that is where the real conversations start. If you just go to a wedding its not a big deal because you watch the happy couple exchange vows and then have fun for only about 8 hours usually. If you are in wedding party, you are surrounded by it for months and intensely for three or four days. So I had that twice within a week and a half of each other. As a bridesmaid you talk about how beautiful the bride is, the look of the church, the ceremony, and the groomsmen, who also tend to be single. Everyone there is thinking about the wedding they are in, along with their own wedding and how perfect it will be. I had endless conversations with the other bridesmaids about what we would wear, where the wedding would be, and how hunky our husband would be. The first wedding wasn't that bad because I was there by myself and it was in beautiful Portland, Oregon. The second wedding was a family wedding, in Leadville, Colorado, which means it has been the topic of conversations for about a whole year, since my cousin was engaged. This wedding was way worse as far as my wedding plans go. My mom and grandma were there and they were not only talking about my cousin but also about what my wedding would be like. Do you know how it is like having your family plan things before you even have a guy in mind? Not very fun. It is adds a lot of unnecessary pressure which is fun for a while, but a little terrifying after a week or so of conversations. Of course I know what I want to happen, but when your family talks about it,  the avalanche of expectations starts and there is nothing stopping it.

So thus my conversation comes full circle about the things that I am going through these days. First, finding a boy to value all of my virtues and not want to get into my pants, and the unintentional pressure from society to get married shortly after I graduate college, which I remind you is in less than a year. It makes you want to scream like Bella after Edward left. AHHHHH! So what do I do to not go crazy? I breathe and dance around in circles. Basically I shake it off and realize that I am not like everyone else and I can do what I want in my own time because I want to know 100% about something before I take the plunge. Diva remember?

So to all those singles who are seniors in college and even the ones that are in relationships, BREATHE. Life shouldn't be so stressful and we should enjoy our last year instead of worrying about what is going to happen after graduation. We have time to find a career, get married, and have kids. This year is for us, so we have to live up. So until next time...

Don't call my name....Alejandro

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